Really Funny Jokes

Sube un borracho a un

Sun, 20 May 2012 20:01:34 +0000

Sube un borracho a un taxi.

Borracho: “ï¿½Eh varï¿½n! ï¿½Te puedo dejar la pizza y el vino sobre el asiento delantero?”

Taxista: “Sï¿½, como no”.

Borracho: “ï¿½BRRGGGGGGGGGGG!”

Balding Problems

Sun, 20 May 2012 07:56:47 +0000

Jill got a new job as a stylist at a beauty salon.During her second week on the job, a bald woman walked into the salon and said to Jill, “I’ve tried everything to make my hair grow and nothing works. I’m a rich woman — I’ll give you $25,000 if you can make my hair look just like yours.”"No problem,” said Jill, and quickly shaved her head.

Trabajas en horas extraï¿½as. ï¿½Como

Sat, 19 May 2012 20:03:42 +0000

Trabajas en horas extraï¿½as. ï¿½Como las putas!

Generalmente trabajas hasta tarde. ï¿½Como las putas!

Generalmente eres mï¿½s productivo por la noche. ï¿½Como las putas!

Te pagan para mantener al cliente feliz. ï¿½Como las putas!

El cliente paga mucho mï¿½s pero tu jefe se queda con casi todo el dinero. ï¿½Como las putas!

Cobras por hora pero tu tiempo se extiende hasta que termines. ï¿½Como las putas!

Si eres bueno, nunca estï¿½s orgulloso de lo que haces. ï¿½Como las putas!

Te recompensan por satisfacer las fantasï¿½as de tus clientes. ï¿½Como las putas!

Es difï¿½cil tener y mantener una familia. ï¿½Como las putas!

Cuando te preguntan en quï¿½ trabajas no lo puedes explicar. ï¿½Como las putas!

Tus amigos se distancian de ti y tï¿½ sï¿½lo andas con otros igual que tu. ï¿½Como las putas!

El cliente paga tu cuenta del hotel y por horas trabajadas. ï¿½Como las putas!

Tu jefe tiene un buen coche. ï¿½Como las putas!

Cuando vas a hacer una “asistencia” al cliente estï¿½s ï¿½ptimo. ï¿½Como las putas!

Pero cuando vuelves pareces haber salido del infierno. ï¿½Como las putas!

Evalï¿½an tu “capacidad” con horribles pruebas. ï¿½Como las putas!

El cliente siempre quiere pagar menos y encima quiere que hagas maravillas. ï¿½Como las putas!

Cada dï¿½a al levantarte dices “NO VOY A HACER ESTO TODA MI VIDA!!!” ï¿½Como las putas!

Sin conocer nada de su problema los clientes esperan que les des el consejo que necesitan. ï¿½Como las putas!

Si las cosas salen mal es siempre culpa tuya. ï¿½Como las putas!

Tienes que brindarle servicios gratis a tu jefe, amigos y familiares. !Como las putas!

Ahora me pregunto… Realmente soy Ingeniero de Sistemas o …?

The Scientist and the Frog

Sat, 19 May 2012 08:04:50 +0000

There once was a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put the
frog on the ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet.
So the scientist wrote in his notebook, “frog with four feet jumps four feet.”

So the scientist cut off one of one of the frogï¿½s legs. The scientist told the
frog to jump. Frog jumped three feet. So the scientist wrote in his note book,
“frog with three feet jumps three feet.”
So the scientist cut of another leg. He told the frog to jump. The frog jumped
two feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook “frog with two feet jumps two
feet.”
The scientist cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump. Frog jumped one
foot. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, “frog with one foot jumps one
foot.”
So the scientist cut off his last leg.
“He said, “Frog jump. Frog jump. FROG JUMP!”
So the scientist wrote in his notebook, “Frog with no feet goes deaf.”

Top 10 reasons COMPILERS must be female

Fri, 18 May 2012 20:08:28 +0000

10. Picky, picky, picky.
9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8. Beauty is only shell deep.
7. When you ask what’s wrong, they say “nothing”.
6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
5. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
4. Small talk is important.
3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it’s wrong.
2. They make you take the garbage out.
1. Miss a period and they go wild.

One-liners for kids.

Fri, 18 May 2012 08:10:36 +0000

Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF?
A: A watchdog!

Q: Why do male deer need braces?
A: Because they have “buck teeth!”

I said no to drugs,

Thu, 17 May 2012 20:00:43 +0000

I said no to drugs, but they didn’t listen!

Ways to confuse a roommate

Thu, 17 May 2012 08:06:23 +0000

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.158. Hang a basketball net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to basketball games, and play them in front … Continue reading →

Fart, farts everywhere!

Wed, 16 May 2012 19:56:58 +0000

An elderly lady goes into the doctor and tells him – “Doctor, I don’t know what the problem is, but I’ve been farting all the time. It’s not really a problem socially because they don’t make any noise and don’t smell. I just can’t stop farting all the time. In fact while I’ve been in here I must have farted at least 20 times.”

The doctor nods and gives her some pills. “Here take these for two weeks and come see me again when you are done.”

So she takes the pills and returns two weeks later as instructed. Infuriated, she confronted the doctor. “What kind of medicine is this? I’m still farting just as much? They still don’t make any noise, but now they stink terribly!”

The doctor nodded, “It’s alright, now that we have your sinus’ cleared up, we’ll work on your hearing next!”

Yo mama’s so fat… Sherpas

Wed, 16 May 2012 07:58:01 +0000

Yo mama’s so fat, even Sherpas can’t climb her.